Fondue – By Rev. Amy Bezecny
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Fondue – Number 3 in a three part series: Pinkeye, Potluck and Fondue

Many adoptive families celebrate “Gotcha Day” on the anniversary of their child’s final adoption. It is appropriate to remember and celebrate such a significant day. However, “Gotcha Day” didn’t feel right for our family. The memory of seeing my son for the very first time stands out more to me than hearing the judge’s words pronouncing his final adoption. Both were special days, but I can place myself back in the foster family’s living room, watching him walk toward us with a big ball, faster than I can place myself back in the courtroom watching him take the bear from the judge. Finding each other began long before the day we met. Parts of the journey were within our control, other parts were in other people’s control and I believe that other parts were in God’s control. The whole experience was so much more than my husband and I “getting” a son or our son “getting” parents. It was about the beginning of a lifelong relationship, a messy, gooey, oh so sweet relationship. It’s so much better to navigate this life together! So, every year, on the anniversary of the very first day we met each other, my husband, son, and I celebrate with “found you fondue.” Ours is chocolate and it is messy, gooey, and oh so sweet! We like to taste all the different foods dipped in the chocolate but we each have our favorite. Mine strawberries, our son’s is marshmallows, and my husbands is pound cake cubes. It’s fitting. We each bring our own God-given gifts and dreams to the relationship and together, it is even better!

In my pinkeye post I wrote about our motivation to adopt. It was not to change our son, but to provide an environment and relationship that would give him the opportunity to become the child that God created him to be. In my Potluck post, I wrote about the need for diligent preparations balanced with an openness to accept what we can’t prepare for in adoption. Fondue is our way of celebrating all of this and I usually share this story in February because the day we met our son, was Valentine’s day. As our family prepares for Thanksgiving this holiday season, we eagerly await not only Christmas but also Valentines Day.

Rev Amy

Amy Bezecny, MDiv

Adoptive/Foster Care Fellow, Hope and Healing Center & Institute

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